Open road ahead

Well hello bloggers.

Life has been all over the place lately and so have my emotions. One minute I'm peachy, happy and enjoying life. The next I'm in the gutter wishing for a new day. I know it's all a part of life and I just wish I could have amazing days everyday...but wait I can. I just have to find the positive in the bad. Which today...I'm finding it near impossible to do.

Every song I hear makes me think of someone....and all I want is for him to hold me like only he can and smile at me and make me realize everything will be ok.

It's true...people come into your life when you least expect it and you can either run from that fact in fear or go with it. Ride down the open road and welcome the journeys that are yet to be taken. This person came into my life for a specific reason and I truly believe that it's because we are supposed to be a part of each others life in the romantic sense and he is too afraid. And for the first time in 3 years...or close to 4...I'm not afraid to be in a relationship. I'm not afraid to share my life, dreams, hopes...everything with someone. This is a huge step for me and I welcome the little shudders of excitement and everything else.

I have an open road ahead and I want to share it with this person...it's just difficult when the other person is where I was not even a month ago.

Last night I had dreams about us...and for the first time...the faceless man I've dreamt about has a face...a name...a voice...and those breath taking eyes. It's him. And I get the same feeling in my dreams as I do as when I see him in person. I woke up in a weird mood simply because I have NO idea as to what to do. I know his situation and I know he isn't ready but...I can't help knowing I can help him...he simply has to let me.

Alright. That's my vent session for the day. :)

Tiffany Leigh

Les Miserables

Hello bloggers. :)

Well last night I was FINALLY able to witness the spectacular show that is Les Mis! Can I just start by saying, "HOLY CRAP!" Alright, now that I got that out let me follow it with how blown away I was by the cast! I have NEVER seen or heard more amazing voices on a stage! The lead was breath taking and every time he sang I had instant chills and I could feel for him throughout the entire musical.
Yes, it's quite depressing with what all happens within the first 15 minutes and I wasn't expecting it, but I couldn't turn away. My best friend went with me and we laughed together, cried, and enjoyed every moment. I can NOT wait for the movie to come out! I think they have picked the BEST cast they could have for it after seeing the musical last night. Especially with picking Hugh Jackman for Jean Valjean. His voice is breathtaking and he will do an amazing job.
The stage production was marvelous also. The last musical I remember being that impressed with was The Lion King...two completely different musicals but the production....pulls you right into the music and the performance.
If I had the voice talent, I'd love to try and do musicals/shows but I know I dot and that is not for me. I just have such a high respect for that cast. Just speechless.

Alright, I suppose that's all I have to say. I just needed to share the love for Les Mis with the world. ;)

Tiffany Leigh

Lemons to Lemonade

Hello bloggers.

Well it's a new day, new week, and a new view on life. Everyone knows the saying "If you have lemons make lemonade", or something to that effect. Well that's what I'm doing.

I know now without a doubt in my mind writing is what I'm meant to do. Whether its to write a novel, teach or both. My love for writing had grown over the past couple months into something I never imagined. It's a way for me to not only escape into a world I've created, but a way for me to simply write what I feel. Furthermore it's a way for me to write what no one ha written yet.

I have so many amazing people in my life that are such an inspiration. Some have just arrived into my life and I would be lost without them. Some have been here for years upon years and some are family! They are a constant support system and I love each one of them for being my support team. For constantly telling me I can succeed. Everyone needs to hear that every now and then and it would seem with creative people its more often than I thought. Lol

My life is a crazy roller coaster ride and I love it...most days. ;)

Well I guess that's all I have to say today folks. Have a terrific Tuesday! :)

Tiffany Leigh

My life in movie scores

Hello bloggers.

Lately I've been listening to nothing but, movie soundtracks, scores, ect and I feel as though each day is a different kind of soundtrack.
Everyone has their favorite composers, and if you say you don't, you're probably lying because you just don't want to admit you listen to music with no words. :P

Here's a list of some of my favorite composers:
Hans Zimmer- known most for Pirates of the Caribbean, Inception, The Lion King, Sherlock Holmes, The Dark Knight Trilogy, The Holiday
Danny Elfman- any Tim Burton movie :P Spiderman Triology
James Newton Howard - Peter Pan, The Hunger Games
Randy Edelman- Leap Year
Nicholas Hopper, Alexandre Desplat - Harry Potter
Patrick Doyle - Brave
Howard Shore - Lord of the Rings

Now depending on my mood, I most often feel like one of these composer could write a song that could let people know exactly how I'm feeling, or what's going through my mind. Let's say I was in a very dark and dreary mood it would most likely be composed by Danny Elfman. Something along the lines of the soundtracks to Sleepy Hollow or Edward Scissorhands. If I was in a fowl mood. Let's say I'm so furious I want to punch someone in the face, I could most definitely picture some major brass going on with layers of winds and violins. Thus it would be Hans Zimmer. something like Inception, Sherlock Holmes, or Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Mans Chest. Now if I'm in a fun loving mood, dancing around it could be Patrick Doyle, Hans Zimmer, or James Newton Howard. When I literally dance around my room, bathroom, house, I'm listening to Brave, The Holiday, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, & Peter Pan. When I'm in a romantic mood or a calming mood....needing that serene kind of music to write to, I often will let my ears take in the mesmerizing styling of Randy Edelman, Nicholas Hopper, Alexandre Desplat, and Howard Shore. Not only are the scores these composers write breath taking... beautiful, but they touch my soul. The emotions of the songs are there...I know that sounds crazy but I believe that's how they write. They want the audience to feel what the characters in the films feel during the scenes the songs are played. I may not be a die hard Lord of the Rings fan, but I am a die hard fan of the scores. I think it's the mix of celtic with modern, and folk...just touches me. It makes me feel at home. Just as Randy Edelman made me feel comfortable, at ease, like a child with the Leap Year soundtrack. It may not be a good movie all around but the music...that is what pulls me in every time. Patrick Doyle...oh my...I think he is making his way up on my favorite composer list after seeing Brave. The celtic, Scottish/Irishness of it...pulled me right in, and before I even watched the movie I had the soundtrack. I only do that with Hans Zimmer. :)

If you are sensing a trend...I'm more pulled toward folk, loud, and different....original. Something no one else has ever come up with...Hans Zimmer with so many of the songs from The Dark Knight, Sherlock Holmes, and Pirates of the Caribbean. If my life could have a score I would want those composers to each compose a part of my life...I think that would be QUITE enjoyable....

And this post was quite random...but I'm listening to Pandora and all of these composers are playing back to back, so it made me think...while I was writing on my work in never ending progress novel...I wonder what it would be like to have them compose my life. :)

Take this or leave it...just something fun to think about. ;)

Tiffany Leigh

I'm being stretched to thin...

Hello bloggers.

School has officially started and it would seem my life has gone from calm and enjoyable to chaotic and still a tad enjoyable. 

Biology, Film appreciation, Algebra, and Texas Government are my classes, and ALL of them are going to be difficult. Silly me, thinking film appreciation would be the EASY class...when in all actuality it may have the most work out of ALL my classes. I love school don't get me wrong, it's just making time for my life, along with work is going to be very hard this semester. Training for hourly manager is draining but fun. I have I believe 11 weeks left until I'm finished with that...maybe I can finish sooner if I talk to my GM, but I'll just have to wait it out. Work is good, I worked two 10 hour shifts this weekend, so needless to say finding time to do my homework was a little hard, but thankfully it was all just reading and looking over material, so that wasn't too hard. I did it all today. :) 

On the 26th of this month I do get the amazing opportunity to see Les Miserables at the Bass Hall with my mom and best friend Nicole. So I'm pretty ecstatic about that happening. :D In addition to that I get to write a paper on how the play/musical differs from the cinematic equivalent which should be fun. I love writing and between classes I've found the time to write...even if it's for 10 minutes I'm making the time...which has been difficult for me in the past but getting everything on track for transferring to a four year University and finishing is my priority. 

I really would be lost without my family support and friend support for the road I'm about to embark on. I'm waiting on the last little bit of information from the FIRST university I'm applying too, and I'm praying I get in. I won't be able to apply until after this semester which sucks but better late than never. I'm hoping that sooner rather than later I'll be able to take a little time off to go and take a tour of the school and see what it's really about to make sure this is for me...which I'm certain it is...by the gut feeling I have and the fact so much is coming into place with information I've already found.

Mystery man...yes bloggers still don't get a name. I miss him terribly...and every song I hear in some way, shape or form reminds me of him. His support for the journey I'm on is even more incredible than I'd ever imagined possible. No matter where I end up going to university he wants to stay a part of my life and that in itself means the world to me. I don't depend on him, but knowing I have him during all of this is a huge relief and knowing that he wants only what's best for me makes my heart full of love. Yes, love. Blast being a hopeless romantic. :P

Well I suppose that's all I have for now. I hope everyone has had a wonderful Labor Day.

Tiffany Leigh

University.

Hello blog world.

How is everyone doing on this wonderful Friday? I hope you are all doing well. Me? I'm losing my mind slowly. Why you ask? I'm trying to determine the best place for me to transfer to finish my university. Of course I'll need to visit whichever campus I'm looking into, and one just keeps pulling me.... and I'm not going to lie, I'm terrified...

It's in another state, and I would only know one person there...but that's all a part of the growing up process. Taking leaps of faith, going the distance to pursue your dreams. Dreams are not meant to be easy, this I know for certain. My dreams are what drives me. My love for writing, the creative process behind it and my romantic heart drive me everyday. It's the days where I can sit with my pen/pencil and paper or on the laptop where I'm happiest. Whether I'm writing on my blog, in my journal or on a simple idea that's popped into my head. The dream is there, has always been there, but fear seems to get in the way more often than not.

The fear of not succeeding, the fear of denial, the fear of letting those I love down for any reason. It creeps up on me like a killer in a horror movie. Waiting in the darkness to take me into that oblivion that is my blackhole. I've had to a lot of up and down roller coaster rides when it comes to fear. Trying my damnedest not to let it win, and sometimes my strength isn't what I'd like for it to be. I can say lately, I've been having an ongoing fight with fear about this subject. I keep telling myself, "I can do this! I can apply and visit and take this journey to where I want to go in life!" I have to have little talks with myself to keep my mind positive sometimes, and I suppose today is one of those days I'm having to have that conversation with myself.

All this looking up information and figuring out how much financial aid I'll need is so overwhelming, exciting, and as I said earlier, terrifying. It's beginning to feel very real, and the next step after I finish all the research is  talking to my counselor at TCC and figuring out what classes will transfer and everything else.

My best friend Nicole is finishing up her big step into the Navy and seeing her taking her final steps to go is pushing me to finish my steps for school. Her support during this process has been amazing and without her...gosh I don't know. Sometimes I wonder how I got along with having her in my life. haha. I'm dead serious. She and I have gotten so close over the past couple months, and I can't imagine not having her in my life. So Nicole, if you are reading this, I love you girl and thank you for being your CRAZY self and putting up with my craziness!! :)

Alright, so I suppose I'm down with this post now. I still have a little research to finish...hopefully my brain will not explode! haha.

later blog world.

Tiffany Leigh

Not myself...

Hello blog world.

Well I seem to be in a funk today. I woke up after an AMAZING dream, I mean literally the kind of dream you truly don't want to wake from, and then when I did...I didn't quite...feel myself. Which is odd to say the least. I had a great day yesterday with my sister and my nephew. Yes, we drove all over creation, but it was nice to see both of them after not seeing them for a couple weeks. Liam turns 1 on Monday, and we are having his BIG party on Saturday.

ANYWAY, back to what this post is about...after this dream I awoke feeling odd. Truly not myself in the least...I had all these plans to do research and such before work and now...I feel no need to do them. Which isn't like me...I have all these plans for the future, and yet all I want to do is sit and escape into my writing. Yes, that's a WONDERFUL thing, but I shouldn't want to escape my life...that was Tiffany from a couple  months ago...not this new Tiffany..the real me where I've FINALLY figure out what I want. Yet, I want to escape to the world I've created and hide there until work. Immerse myself in my story...my land of romance, happily ever after and fantasy. I feel very out of it today and I don't like this feeling, maybe it's hormones...seeing as I AM a girl...but whatever it is..I want it gone.

I enjoy writing, and letting my imagination take control...however I no longer want to escape, except it would seem I need an escape from the stress I'm putting myself under with figuring out my life, school...everything. I"m not going to lie, going into my own world is quite enjoyable...but it's not real, and I've spent way too much of my life in fantasyland...making mistakes, and I moved past that and I don't wan to repeat any of those mistakes. I just...don't want this happiness I have to leave...and I'm terrified it might...

I hate fear...blegh.

Alright bloggers there is my vent for the day, I hope all of you are having a fabulous day.

Tiffany Leigh

2012 Olympics mate

Hello mate. How are you doing today?

Well, I'm a huge Olympics fan, and since I've been working a great deal...and having a life as of late, I've been DVRing the Olympics. Whoever invented DVR is a genius just saying.

After going to the Olympics in 04' I've always wanted to go back. I REALLY wanted to go to London, because we all know how obsessed I am with British accents. :) But if I were to take a trip anywhere right now it would be to a state east of Texas, not across the pond yet. Then the trip across the pond is designated to Ireland/Scotland/England. I should really try harder to save money for that trip. haha.

Work is going well, I start my training this week, or so I've been told..we'll see when I go in if my GM actually did it or not. LOL Money intake has been amazing the past two months, and I hope in only continues for awhile. :)

My life is filled with such joy and adventures that I can't wait to go on each day I wake up. The adventures I take in my writing are just as exciting as the ones I take now. I'm happy, truly happy. I know what I want to do in life. I know where I want to go. I have family/friends that support me(FINALLY), and I have God. Yes, God. He has been the one constant thing in my life. Answering my prayers, not on my time table but he has answered them all in his own time. I now understand why. I had to find me...find myself..be myself before I could figure out everything else. I'm a writer, I'm creative, I'm a lover NOT a fighter, I'm a hopeless romantic, I love movies, I'm addicted to Johnny Depp, I think Colin Farrell is the sexiest Irishmen I've ever seen, I love with my whole heart, I care with all that I have, I love nature, Sunsets make my heart flutter, I cherish those close to me, I'm just me. And you know what, I finally believe that's good enough. I'm good enough. Do you know how long it's taken me to get to this point? 26 years...SERIOUSLY!? I know now that I have my life figured out the Devil will come at me full steam ahead, and all I have to say is bring it. I can handle it. After all the hell I've been through, I've come back stronger every time.

My friends and family...man. God has blessed me with the best. Nicole Ciulla, Kelsee Harp, and two other girls at work are by far the best friends I've ever had besides Ashley Vold. They are all the supportive friends I've always wanted but never had, and I'm so grateful to have them in my life. To have them be so close, to be able to trust them with secrets and go to them for advice and KNOW they have my best interest at heart.

And the man...oh that man...every song I hear somehow makes me think of him...it's ridiculous, but I love it. My heart is so full, and I know he has no idea as to how much I truly care for him. And how if I could I would pack a small bag and just drive...grab a friend and just drive away. Show up at his job, walk right up to him and kiss him just like in a romcom..I would do it in a heartbeat. See, it's that hopeless romantic in me...I want my happily ever after and will fight for it, and will have it.

Alright, now that I've rambled on and on, I need to finish getting ready for work. I hope everyone has an amazing day. :)

Tiffany Leigh

Waiting on love.

Interesting title huh bloggers? ;)

Well this week has flown by and it's been an amazing week. Seriously my life as gone from crazy bad and not going the way I want it to, to being crazy amazing and going in a way I've only dreamed it would. I mean...really.

I have 3 amazing women in my life. One who lives in Washington, who has helped me through hell and back. And the other two live here, are a couple years younger but have also helped me through some tough times and have been an amazing support system for me. I finally feel like all my prayers are being answered and it all started with figuring out I wanted to be a writer, and from then on...it's been answered prayer after answered prayer a couple months in between each. Ashley, Nicole and Kelsee are the best friends I've ever had. Ashley and I can go a month or two without talking but once we talk again it's like it's been a day. Kelsee and Nicole...are amazing. I'm so glad I've been able to get close to them and that we are now pretty much the three musketeers. :D I don't know what I would do without those three women. I really don't. :)

Then there is the man I was being cryptic about. The whole reason I'm so cryptic is because I don't want anything bad to happen. Like...I don't want to jinx it somehow. Ya know what I mean? I mean, this guy, is truly my dream guy, and he makes me so happy. Even the smallest text, or short call will make my day, bring a smile to my face and give me butterflies. He's amazing and I don't know how someone could hurt him the way his ex did. I really can not comprehend it at all. The two months I've known him, he has been nothing but a gentleman and we got close in the last couple weeks and I just want to be with him, and I'm trying to find a way...that I can get to him. I have never wanted something so bad since I've wanted to go to Ireland. Ireland can wait...it's not going anywhere...him..I can NOT wait. :)

He's as a friend of mine called it my manspiration. :) He keeps inspiring me to write and I don't think he even knows it. Well, he does because I told him I've been writing a lot and he has something to do with it, so there THAT is. Haha. :)

Well I guess that is all for today bloggers. I hope you all have a great day. :)

Tiffany Leigh

Hello mates. I'm in a happy mood

Hello mates. :)

Have you ever had such an amazing nights sleep that you wake early to start your day with a constant smile on your face? Well that happened to me today. I had a very crazy, intense weekend with some MARVELOUS people and it ended just the way I had hoped it would. :D Yes, I know this sounds cryptic blog world but the best hings in life need to be just that...a tad bit cryptic. ;)

I awoke this morning with the sudden need to figure out where I want to finish university...and if you also couldn't tell my lovely bloggers I'm in a British mood this morn. :) Now where was I, oh yes waking with a smile and wanting to figure out the rest of my life. I went on a rapid search for schools with a joint major in English/Creative writing. It took me all over the place. Took me to one school in Texas that was in the top 20 list for the major and took me to one of the most well known and acclaimed schools for my major. Emory College in Georgia. I distinctively remember my English professors telling me if I wanted to leave the state and go to a university that would help me get jobs when I graduate, Emory was at the top of the list.

It's not HORRIBLY expensive but it's not inexpensive either. I want to go somewhere that will keep my creative juices running like they've been lately. Looking at the pictures of the school, I was instantly intrigued, reading all about the college, reading stories from past students from all over the states and some from other countries. I wrote to the college to get more information, about possibly touring the college soon and getting all the information possible that I'll need to transfer. I am however I little torn between there and TCU... TCU is close to home..but I also remember saying to a VERY close family friend, in a conversation about finding my "prince charming", that maybe I need to move away to find him...or for God to put him into my life.

A guy recently did come into my life... he's now a CLOSE friend, and is NOT from here. WE hit it off, and he left this morning to go back home, and even though I'm so utterly happy right now, I already miss him. Bloggers, have you ever met someone and felt like you'd met them before? That they could be from your dreams? Well this gentleman is just that...and not only is he stunningly handsome, he's sweet, makes me laugh, and I'm so comfortable around him...safe even which is hard for me to say after the past I've had.

Everything seems to finally be going well and in the right direction and I'm very happy right now. I'm happy with work, school, the people I have in my life...and I'm ecstatic about what God is doing with my life right now. Giving me a new friend that could be more in the future, and with giving me the urgency I need to figure out my life. I feel as though I'm on cloud nine right now with everything going through me.

I think today is the first Monday I've loved in a long time. I hope everyone has an amazing day. :)

Tiffany Leigh

It's crazy world

Well hello blog world. A lot has been going on in my exhilarating life.
2 months ago I started speaking to my dad again and I'm enjoying having him back in my life after all this time. It's like...finally being able to move forward in the dating world. I mean, yeah I've dated but I feel as though the reason I've been falling for all the wrong men. Then the one guy I think well maybe something could happen....can't. It's like I'm in my own fairytale....which ironically is what I've always wanted. Hmm.

Work is great. I got promoted and start that new training after the premiere of The Dark Knight Rises. :) I'm pretty excited about it honestly. It'll be even better money and will work better with my school schedule. ;)

Liam is amazing. He was at the house all weekend and I got to spend a little more time with him this time which was nice. :D

Back to fairytale man...who knows something could happen...his eyes remind me of someone...in a dream. ;) well blog world I'll chat with you later.

Tiffany Leigh

Bum de bum bum bum

Hello world! How are you all doing?
It's been quite sometime since I wrote, but I'm in the "writing" mood. By writing I suppose I mean venting since this is what this blog is really for. Letting the world know what is going on in my life right now.

Well where do I start? I ended my Spring semester with a 4.0 GPA, and I'm almost done with my basics at TCC, which just leads the left over fun electives for my Associates. :) I decided against taking summer school due to my job, and the many midnight showings that we will have, and in the hope of saving some money for the fall and boosting up my savings account. However, my job has taken a turn in the way they do things scheduling wise...so it may be a bit more difficult. I love my job, and everything that goes with it, just being a grown up really SUCKS sometimes.

I was also hoping I'd have more time to write... and when I find the time, what I write...makes no sense, which is irritating. The stress of everyday makes it's way into my writing, which is NOT the point of my writing, it's an escape from my stress. BOO!

Alright i guess that's all I really have to say at the moment. I think I may eat a cookie. :)

Journey forward.

Holy geez it's been months since I last wrote.

Life has taken another turn, this one for the brighter side of the horizon. I'm LOVING being an aunt. Liam is now 5 months old and making all kinds of big steps and I enjoy getting pictures and little videos but it's now the same.  I haven't been able to see my nephew for weeks due to work, and now that school is back in session it'll be even more difficult to conjure up the time to make trips up there. HOWEVER, I'm determined to make the time...just as I am to make time to write. I've been slacking...probably due to fear...you know...those stupid voices in your head that like to bring you down? Well it would seem they have been working over time on me lately.
I'm sad to say they've been winning, and I...losing the race.

School is keeping me sane at the moment...it's a stabilizing place for me...making me stay on the track I want for my dreams. Work at Movie Tavern is amazing. I love the people there so much and enjoy going to work everyday. Having an open mind about how much money I make a day is not hard, because any money I make is a blessing. :) I've made SEVERAL marvelous, amazing, hilarious friends there thus far, and I'm already so grateful for them. That I had the opportunity to meet them and I may call them my friends. :)

The only downside to all of this happiness is I'm sooo flippin' lonely! I hate that feeling, and yet I've felt that way a little too much lately, and with this feeling I don't make the best choices. SO, I need to use my head and not my heart right now...I want a happily ever after...but at what cost...am I willing to get it? Ya know?
Ohh this has turned into a word vomit post. Yeesh. Alright I guess that's all for today. :P

Tiffany Leigh